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I’m just really sad today.

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It’s Not Fair.

It’s not fair that because of what YOU did to me I feel inadequate. It’s not fair that because of what YOU did to me I feel like I’m not enough. It’s not fair that because of what YOU did to me I am stuck as some fucked up, paranoid version of myself. It’s not fair that because of what YOU did to me I feel as though my self-worth is diminishing. It’s not fair that because of what YOU did to me I am afraid to be touched with a lovers hand. It’s not fair that because of what YOU did to me I have nightmares.  It’s not fair that because of what YOU did to me I fall apart every now and then. It’s not fair that because of what YOU did to me I feel broken. It’s not fair that because of what YOU did to me I am not me. It’s not fair what YOU did to me.

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Accidental

imageI accidentally took this photo. I was honestly trying to take a “sexy” picture for a boy. But look at my face- I don’t look sexy I don’t look happy or sad. I look numb. That worries me. Do I feel anymore? Or am I too afraid to hurt?

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Outpour of Emotion

It’s like I’m holding a cracked mug full of water. For a while it works, I can stop it from falling apart. But slowly water starts pushing through and eventually I break. And I’m drowning in my own emotion.

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